if it was up to me to build a jeep i would prolly do it in these steps
1. axles. you already broke 3 dana 35 and a arb locker. mind as well do gears at the same time.
2. tires. if you got the clearance for the 38's. not sure if you do i cant remember how much suspension you got. just think i got 36 and you saw it with my lift. i will be barring them with a 6 inch lift and prolly not have alot of room to spare.
3. tire carrier. i would prolly get this either right before the tires or at the same time so you can handle the 38+ tires you want to run.
4. winch. i put this 4th because alot of us have them already and we never go out alone but is very nice to have. at the same time mind as well change out the front bumper too while you have the winch out of the way. i would not go under 8000lbs. or get a generic winch either. i stick with warn ramsey. i dont trust any other name to pull me out if my life depends on it.
5. t-case i dont think you need 10 0 1 ratio. a little over kill. i can see 5 0 1. your gears will make up for the extra low range your looking for. going slow is nice dont get me wrong i know you can use 4 hi if you want to but i think 10 0 1 is just way over kill.
6. roll cage i think the jeep roll cage is very equipt for a good roll over. but it would be nice to have the exta cage there. while you doing that mind as well change out the seats and get racing seats for the harnesses. plus i would not buy the one you see in quatratec. it nice easy bolt on but i dont trust the union bolt together set up. i would rather take it to a shop and get one fitted to it. like take it dans shop that he get his race car cages done. use 1 1/2 .120 wall tubing. dont need chromealley steel.
7. i think i should have written this first but the swim suit.

the only way your going to get this stuff is if you buy her alot of stuff in the mean time to destract her from buying this stuff. and prolly send it to my house and say were having a guys night out to get it installed. your talking alot of cash for this stuff.
well 1200 for the tires
3k for the t case and drive shafts
winch with mounts and exta bag of goodies is about 1k ( snatch blocks tree saver etc )
roll cage anything between 600 to 1k
axles prolly both for about 4 to 5k with gears and lockers and converted to tj suspension.
tire carrier about 300 bucks
the swim suit well you can go to walmart and get one for 20 bucks or even salvation army for prolly 2 bucks. she wont know
so were looking at about 9 to 10k to build it. quick estimate in my head. thats is if you dont break anything in the process like the motor or transmission or roll it over.
this is just me.